let's shop till we drop
~ poonam
i am very little a woman, like a typical woman is made out to be. i don’t wear make up, i don’t own stilettos, hey i don’t even like shopping. yes, i kind of dislike it a little. i do it only when there is need or when i fall in the trap of, ‘oh it’s so therapeutic’. it rarely is. infact quite the reverse, i get more stressed when i come back home with stuff that i don’t really need. the stress is more when i think what my reiki teacher told me about needless hoarding that restricts smooth flow of chi in the home.
when i think of all this and think of what i do at work, i feel like i have dual personality. i make a living selling stuff to people that they don’t need, or can do without, sometimes stuff they didn’t even know existed. ok, you want an instance? take anthuriums. i didn’t know anthuriums were exotic flowers found in tropical climates and that they are available in 900 varieties, most of which are genetically produced by floriculturists, till the brief landed on my desk. today, i sell them to corporates with a promise that this is your antidote to beat stress at work. before me, my ex-boss went a step further and gladly declared to the world that finally, here are flowers that need your neglect. seriously, as if all the world was actually waiting for flowers that don’t require care. funnily, when i look at them and my lines, i get stressed and i don’t care a damn about care or neglect anymore. never did. no one does. and definitely not the poor executives who are getting stress-busting anthuriums shoved down their throats for a price.
so in brief, i am quite a freak. one who has a thing against consumerism, but has very little qualms making money out of it and then goes right ahead and spends the same money on buying things that further the same ‘culture’. as much as i want to avoid, i end up going to the malls that have sprung up in my suburb, atleast twice a month. i hang around the coffee shops which is infact one of the two good things about these malls (the other one is the multiscreen multiplexes). and i shop, even for spinach. when the malls first came up, i had decided i will buy clothes, jewellery, bags but no vegetables and grocery at these megamarts. i have my loyal vegetablewalas and the fat grocer with his ever smiling wife who make sure we never go hungry. they are there even at 10 30 in the night when i discover i have run out of salt or milk and need it right now, else i go hungry to bed. i tried not to be disloyal to them for many months but eventually i gave in. one day i padded my wallet with lots of the same dirty money and headed for the supermarket. took the goddamned trolley and shopped for everything from spinach to thousand island salad dressing. the few tasty discoveries like guava juice and puliogare did not make up for my guilt. but did that stop me? no. i returned and this time, i shopped twice as much.
idiosyncrasies aside, i agree with arundhati on most of her observations in the last post. it bothers me when my 16-17 year old niece’s fun places are pizza hut and the like. when she thinks she has been there, done that only when she has tried all the pastas on the menu of a certain italian restaurant. it bothers me when she insists to taste her dad’s cognac when she can hardly pronounce cognac, just so it will make look cool around friends. her life revolves around, ‘you know i went here and bought this or i went there and had this’. i hate it when i know her upbringing is laced with such superficial events and i can’t do a thing about it. it is so deep-rooted that she won’t have it any other way. i feel she thinks there are two types of people in the world. the cool ones who have lattes and wear tommy hilfiger and the uncool ones who don’t. in her book, the third kind don’t exist at all, ones who can do both. in her life, there are no midways, no neutral grounds. she has strong views, unlike me, when i was young. in my childhood, i was a child. i had no strong urge to do certain things or belong to a certain group of people. i was vulnerable and impressionable. but all hell will break loose, if she ever is.
now i am waiting to see how it will pan out eventually. at 30, will she still be under influence, or will she have seen the light. either way, precious time is lost. and think about it, millions and millions of kids in this country are being given the same doses, the same crap in the name of progress. i have nothing against progress but when it’s restricted to only this, then i have a problem. where are the bookstores, libraries, theatres, swimming pools, playgrounds? where are the hobby classes, painting classes, pottery classes and things like that? also where are the strong-willed mothers or story-telling grandpas? i know where. they are out shopping.
23 Comments:
Poonam: Mwaaaaah! (this at the risk of being called a mutual admiration society!)
That was awesome!! Isn't this the story of our lives - of the quintessential fence sitters? But you put it so well! Bravo!!
1:48 PM
"i was vulnerable and impressionable." thats what childhood is about, isnt it. and sure some things are impressing your niece. hope they dont last.
nice post poonam.
10:45 PM
Your niece will grow up. Just like we all had to grow up to understand certain things.
Impressive post, Poonam.
3:46 AM
"I am very little a woman"...:-))
same here.But I love to shop.
Very good post Poonam.will keep coming back.
3:47 AM
arundhati: mutual admiration society...naah! we just happen to think likewise. and you are right about us being fence sitters. think about it, it's so much easier on the soul that way.
ram, bishwanath: thank you! in hindsight when i think about the niece, it's not too bad. maybe i expect too much from the kids and my cousins, the parents i mean.
vandy: thank you :) see you around.
12:30 PM
How you must have cursed me when I dragged you to shop after shop, to look and look and finally not buy anything! I should have got the hint when you wiped off the kajal I lined your eyes with!
4:57 AM
anumita: don't be silly. i did not curse you at all. i quite enjoyed the evening. also, i don't remember wiping off the kajal. infact i love kohl and all eye stuff. we even exchanged notes on eyeliners...i use biotique, you use shanaz hussain etc.
the lipstick is the one that gave me jitters. i feel it gives me that odd, kind of loose look. or maybe 'cos i haven't wore it enough. 6 times at best, all these years. :)
9:10 AM
Take heart. Human beings have survived a variety of things, including consumerism. Yes, your niece's generation isn't the first one to face it....its been around for ages.
4:42 AM
ideasmith: i am hoping..:)
9:47 AM
ideasmith: i am hoping..:)
9:52 AM
Superbly written.
9:52 AM
fingers: thank you! :)
8:44 AM
If you are a "freak", then the world is full of freaks, which is by definition impossible. So take heart, you are very "normal". Now if that disappoints you, sorry! :-)
I live a rather happy life from consumption perspective, partly because I have managed a rarity - my home does not have a TV set. Also, I avoid Times of India newspaper except on sundays - you need to know that much of gossip to survive some unavoidable polite conversation. Together, not getting bombarded by various news channels / music videos / advertisements, and not having to read "manufactured news" in TOI contribute greatly to my peace of mind. In an indirect fashion, it also curbs my consumer instincts.
I guess I AM a freak.
7:15 AM
pankaj: guess, you are a freak then :P
and hey thanks for relating.
1:06 AM
You pick fascinating subjects, and have eye-opening perspectives on them.
Generations have always had gaps, though the gulch seems to have widened at a quicker pace in the recent generations. Everything comes with a price perhaps, and the ‘progress’ we see, pairs with consumerism in this case.
12:04 AM
thank you for reading and understanding. means muchly :)
the topics are chosen by aru and i jointly. we try with the perspectives...sometimes we hit bullseye, other times we don’t. you should check with aru sometime about the fiasco right after the 3rd post. forget it being eye-opening, we were left feeling like wide-eyed, zombies ourselves. :P
11:12 AM
ek onkar satnam kartapurakh
nirmoh nirvair akaal murat
ajuni sabham
guru parsad jap aad sach jugaad sach
hai bhi sach nanak hose bhi sach
soche soch na ho wai
jo sochi lakh waar
chhupe chhup na howai
je laai har lakhtaar
ukhiya pukh na utari
je banna puriya paar
sahasyanpa lakh woh hai
ta ek na chale naal
ke ve sach yaara hoi ae
ke ve kude tutte paal
hukum rajai chalna nanak likheya naal
12:42 AM
I know Poonam does not prefer comments on her blog, hence shared the prayer here.
9:56 PM
Hi Poonam,
I am a big fan of your writing,you
are so transparent in your thoughts
and presenting it.also it's been quite a long to hang around this post.waiting for something new from you.
9:47 PM
anon no. 2(?): thank you very much. wish you'd left your name. anyway, a post is up. :)
3:40 AM
hi poonam hi arundhati!
interesting...exactly how i feel...tho' am begining to think we must be sounding just like our parents did when we were younger. ya ya the pace of change boggles the mind but then sometimes i feel its we who have the problem, the young ones are being just how they are and we are being unfairly judgemental...i teach at a pg mass comm course and its the same there...maybe its i who needs to change, adapt, re-invent...
1:10 AM
Good post lady! Stumbled upon your post from another friend of mine!
You have just mirrorred our daily lives!
will keep coming
1:02 AM
:(
... for you giving-in later in your life and she giving-in quite earlier.
11:04 PM
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